


We Are All Haunted

by crushondeanlikeafairy



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Insomnia, Married Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Nightmares, Oliver Queen Has PTSD, Oliver Queen Needs a Hug, POV Felicity Smoak, Post-Canon, Post-Prison, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Speculation, Supportive Felicity, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 08:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16059512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crushondeanlikeafairy/pseuds/crushondeanlikeafairy
Summary: Oliver is finally back from prison and he couldn't be happier. But being in an environment like that stays with you no matter how far you go, and being home brings its own set of challenges.





	We Are All Haunted

_"The past is a very determined ghost, haunting every chance it gets."_

_-_ Laura Miller

 

Oliver jolted upwards in bed with a shout. He was drenched in sweat and the sheets were wrapped around him. Feeling trapped, he scrambled sideways. In the dark room, he didn't see the edge of the mattress and went tumbling down to the floor. That didn't matter, he just had to free his legs. He didn't know where the danger was and he couldn't run, he couldn't fight, until his legs were free. Finally, he shook himself loose and leveraged himself up with the nightstand. It wasn't meant to hold his weight and it, along with the lamp, went crashing to the floor, sending him back down. He couldn't see very well in the dark, but he didn't recognize this place. He had no idea where he was and Oliver could feel panic creeping throughout his body.  _Hold it together,_ he ordered himself harshly.

"Oliver?"

The quiet voice gave him pause. It was gentle and most definitely female. There were no women at Slabside, at least none in the same area as him. He knew this voice. It was safe and warm.

"F-felicity?"

A light turned on, and for a moment it blinded him. Once he could see again, he blinked his eyes open and saw Felicity, peering at him over the edge of the mattress. Half asleep, she was still laying down, propping herself up with her arm underneath her. He realized the light was coming from the lamp at her own bedside table. She woke very quickly though, once she realized what was happening. He watched her push herself up, kicking her legs over the edge, then falling to her knees beside him. Warmth engulfed him as she wrapped her arms around him, carding her fingers through his hair.

"It's okay," she whispered, "You're home."

The ex-vigilante looked around then, taking in his surroundings. He was home, he just didn't recognize it. They'd had to move into a safe house after he'd been arrested. And while they'd been living here close to a year already, he'd only just stepped foot through the door the morning before. This was his first night back. Still, despite the unfamiliar surroundings, it had felt like home instantly. The roof over his head could be anywhere in the world, with Felicity and William beside him, he was home.

The strangeness of the room certainly wasn't going to help with nightmares though.

"Oliver, you're home," she said again, her breath hot in his ear. Fear was dwindling down. He felt safe in her arms, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

His chest was still heaving, and his shirt was soaking wet. The adrenaline was fading though, bringing feeling back. Pain lanced up his arm and he looked down, realizing one of the shards from the lamp had cut through his palm. Blood was staining the khaki carpet. He felt guilty about that like he was coming into Felicity's home and wrecking it. But it wasn't just the blood stain that made him feel that way.

"Ow," he muttered, inspecting his injured hand.

"I'll be right back," Felicity responded, and then she was gone and he was cold again. The strange walls closing in on him, and he felt his breathing speed up once more.

"Felicity," he cried, his voice cracking. The room was lit, but there were corners he couldn't see and there were shadows filled with darkness. He had no way of knowing what evils lurked there, what enemies were waiting to end him in his moment of weakness. There was a pounding in his head, telling him to run. But he couldn't run, there were bars on the windows and the doors were locked. The other prisoners would stop him before he could get very far anyway.

A sound behind him jerked him from his thoughts, and he reacted quickly. Grabbing a shard of glass from the floor, he scrambled to his feet and spun to face his attacker. Once he saw his wife standing in the doorway, first aid kit in hand, he gasped and dropped his makeshift weapon.

Her manicured hands were held up in surrender, the kit dropped to the floor, "It's just me. It's Felicity."

His Felicity. Her name had never fit her more than it did at that moment.

"Where are you right now?" her warm voice called, sounding distant to his ears. His breath stuttered, and he stepped back to sit on the bed. Oliver felt his legs about to give, and he at least still had the presence of mind to avoid falling down into the shards of porcelain littering the floor.

"I don't know," he whispered, looking up at her desperately. He needed her to tell him. To prove to him that this was all real before he slipped away.

Felicity looked at him sadly for a moment, dropping her hands and bending to pick up the kit from the floor. She took gently push the broken shards into a corner so nobody would step on them, then sat beside him on the bed. Wordlessly, she took his hand into her lap. She took out some antiseptic and set to cleaning the cut, then bandaged him up. It wasn't until she was finished that she looked up at him, still holding his hand tightly in her lap.

"You're with me."

The earnestness in her voice, the sureness, the honesty, almost had him believing her. Almost.

"How do I know?"

Felicity thought for a second, he could see the gears turning inside that big brain of hers.

"What do you mean?"

"At Slabside... I'd dream about coming home to you and William. Most of the time, it would end badly. Someone got to you while I was locked up, or... But sometimes it would be a good dream. You'd be there to greet me and we'd go home as a family. And we were happy. But, I always woke up."

"And you were just dreaming about being back there, but now you're awake. Only you're not sure which one was the dream."

It wasn't a question. She'd figured him out. There had never been a problem that she couldn't solve. He simply nodded.

"There was a fight, there's always another fight. And I don't know if it was a dream, or if I got knocked out and this is the part that wasn't real."

She was quiet again. Simply holding his hand, rubbing her thumb soothingly along the back. It was almost enough to calm him.

"I can fix that. Let's go back to bed. When you wake up, you'll be here and you'll know that this is the part that's real."

It sounded like a good plan. It was so simple. But it was too good to be true.

"What if I have another nightmare?"

"Well, if the dream you just woke up from was real, then when you woke up again you would be in the infirmary. But if you have another nightmare, you wouldn't wake up. You'd just be doing whatever it is you do in your dreams."

Unfortunately, he's experienced this a few times over the last few years. Since being marooned on Lian Yu, it's happened a few times where he couldn't tell what was real and what was simply a hallucination. Usually, he'd been drugged. But it's happened once or twice where his mind couldn't cope with his current situation and he started to invent things. He wanted to believe Felicity, he wanted to trust her. And he did. He really, truly did. But the problem was that he didn't know that this was his Felicity. He didn't trust his own head.

"Do you want to try? If you're not ready to go back to sleep, we can stay up for a bit."

God, he loved her. She always knew just what to say.

"I don't want to keep you up."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, smiling at him, "I love being suddenly woken up at two in the morning."

"Maybe I could clean up this mess, then we'll go back to sleep?"

"Deal," she answered, "I'll help."

It was no use arguing with her. She never listened to him even on a good day. He knew there was no way in hell she was going to let him clean up by himself, especially after he'd lost control of his facade like that. So, they got to work together. She swept the broken lamp into a dustpan while he soaked the blood out of the carpet. Then they changed the sheets on the bed. Some blood from his hand had dripped onto the old ones and needed to be washed.

By the time they were done, it was four and both of them were exhausted. She stood next time him, admiring their work, but unable to stifle a yawn. He watched her reach up to rub at her eyes.

"Please tell me we can go to sleep now."

It was a good feeling, Oliver realized, having someone who loves you so much that they would stay up with you no matter how tired they were. He vowed to never take that for granted again.

"Yes," he answered, pulling her close to him and wrapping his arms around her. Her head fell onto his shoulder and he felt her snuggle closer to him, relaxing in his hold.

"Mmm," she muttered into his shoulder, "I've missed this."

"I've missed you," he answered, kissing the top of her head. He led her to bed. It was awkward because she refused to leave his embrace, but eventually, he made it work. The pair were all settled in underneath the covers, with her laying on his chest as he held her. Slightly uncomfortable for him, maybe. And maybe his arm would fall asleep with her weight on top of it. But holding her close would ground him. Dream Felicity was never warm like she was.

He lay there in the dark for a while, staring up at the ceiling, until his wife's soft snores led him off to sleep as well.

In the morning, golden rays of sunlight filtered through the window and woke him slowly. And she was still beside him, in their bed, in their new house. And he knew he wouldn't have to doubt anymore.

Oliver felt Felicity shift beside him and looked down to see her blinking the sleep from her eyes. Once she had, she smiled at him, bringing a hand up to caress his face.

"Where are you right now?" she whispered, scratching her thumb through his beard.

"Home," he answered firmly, "I'm home."

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't feel like this is up to my usual snuff. But I'm getting hyped for next season and needed to write SOMETHING. Anyway, here. Enjoi!


End file.
